Ballad of a Tin Man
copyright ©2000 by Blind Lemming Chiffon
tune: Ballad of a Thin Man, Bob Dylan

 
You walk into my life
With a basket in your hand.
You see somebody rusting,
And you say, "Who is that man?"
You just don't get it
When I squeak out, "Oilcan."
It's like you came here from some other world,
But the bad witch is chasing you, and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?

You hold up the can
And ask, "Is this what you need?"
And some scarecrow he points to you and says,
"Just squeeze."
And you say, "OK,"
But some part of you says, "Just say please,"
And I say, "Oh my god,
Can she really be this rural?"
But the bad witch is chasing you and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?

You tell me some wizard's
Gonna give me a heart,
So it's to the Emerald City,
Down the yellow road we start,
Without one single grocery store,
Or even a K-Mart,
And those apples you eat could even make a tree hurl,
But the bad witch is chasing you, and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?

One time you met this good witch.
She must have liked your smile.
You landed on a bad witch.
Glynda thought that showed some guile,
But the bad witch's sister
Got just a little riled
And started pacing back and forth like a squirrel.
Now that bad witch is chasing you, and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?

Well, the scarecrow, he calls to you
And then you set him free.
He tells you how he needs a brain,
And, nodding, you agree.
You tell him 'bout that wizard,
And you stroll on merrily.
You know we both rely
On your referral,
But the bad witch is chasing you, and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?

Then you meet this crazy lion,
And he tries bite your dog,
But you find out he's just frightened,
Like a rabbit in a log,
And he lives life like he's driving
Down a freeway in the fog,
And every loud noise makes his straight hair curl,
But the bad witch is chasing you, and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?

When we finally meet the wizard,
He requires just one small test:
He says, "Bring me the broomstick
Of the Witch of the West,"
And we don't know how to do that,
But we'll have to do our best,
So we tell the Wiz we'll give the thing a whirl,
Now you've got to kill the bad witch, and you know just why that is,
Don't you, little girl?