Home Again
copyright ©1995 by Blind Lemming Chiffon
tune: Mary Ellen Carter by Stan Rogers

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip,
Of seven stranded castaways aboard one tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure;
They set sail on a three-hour tour.
The weather started getting rough; their cookies all got tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost.
They set ground on the shore of some uncharted desert isle,
And it looked like they'd be stuck there for a while.

Now Gilligan was not too bright, and he made the Skipper mad.
He got them all in trouble, and sometimes it was bad.
Mr. Howell was a millionaire, so I guess his wife was too,
But, funny thing, he sounded like Magoo.
Ginger was a movie star who acted like a whore,
And Mary Ann was much too cute to be the girl next door.
The Professor did his best to bring them rescue; even then,
We all knew they could NOT go home again.

Sometimes the tide of life flows on, and sometimes it just ebbs,
And sometimes our friend Gilligan looked just like Maynard Krebs.
He never sang or played guitar; he never wrote a song.
That's how we knew his name was Bob, not John.
They were set upon by cannibals and guest celebrities.
They must have built a thousand boats that never sailed the seas.
The whole world knew that they were there -- and watched them every week
But rescue was a word we did not speak.

One time they made poor Gilligan dress up in women's clothes.
He didn't want to do it, but they forced him, I suppose.
They used that bit to make into an ad, the lousy slimes;
I must have seen the clip a thousand times.
And when the series ended, even though the show was done,
Not any of them got sent home. Oh no, not even one.
I tuned in to the reunion but could not last till the end,
So I don't know if they all got home again.