copyright ©2004 by Blind Lemming Chiffon
Tune: Lies, Stan Rogers

Too many people tell me how to live.
I'm craving their respect, but cheap advice is all they give.
Just when the conversation starts to flow,
They pulverize my brain with all the homilies they know:
"You really ought to listen when I tell you what is true.
Look at me when Išm speaking; is there something wrong with you?
Stop eating with your mouth full; youšll get mice.
Why donšt you ever take my good advice?"
"Why donšt you put your napkin in your lap?
Donšt talk while I am speaking, please, and donšt be such a sap.
Donšt use up all the ketchup. Act your age.
I wonder why you act that way; perhaps itšs just a stage.
Please button up your jacket. Do I have to tell you twice?
You wouldnšt know chop suey if it wasnšt for the rice.
If you were wise, just one word would suffice.
Why donšt you ever take my good advice?"

"Come here. I have some medicine for you.
The lesser of two evils is the best that we can do.
I'm sorry, but I'll have to raise your tax.
I know I promised not to, but my lips were really wax.
Work hard, and youšll be happy. Buy the best you can afford.
Your whole life will be perfect if youšll just accept the Lord."
I wonder, are they human, or just lice,
As I tell them to go stuff their good advice.